Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same, when temptation calls, we just look away
I was at the mall on Tuesday, walking around trying to find an oversized movie poster for above my television in the living room. It has now become an obsession with me, and I know how I want to display the poster…I just need to figure out which poster I want to hang up there. It is all very annoying, to be honest, as I had one I thought would work, but then decided that both from a design & content aspect of the poster I didn’t want to have it be the first thing people see when they walked in to my living room. And I want to see the poster in person before I buy it, and that is making buying it over the internet a bit difficult.
I’m walking into Macy’s, as I have given up on finding an oversized movie poster at the Monroeville Mall, and decide to check out some of the new colognes. I don’t buy too many as I have an obscure scent that I use that fits me and isn’t overpowering (my older sister has this strange thought that I bathed myself in Polo when we were in high school, but I don’t remember it that way, so I am paranoid about strong colognes. I used Polo, and it was, at the time, a unique scent, therefore I think people thought I used it excessively, but I didn’t. Or maybe I, just being a poor teenage boy and having just enough excess money to buy Polo cologne wanted to put a lot of it on to let people know that I could actually afford the expensive cologne. Whatever.)
At the counter were two teenage boys. Bland, white and non offensive looking as most teenagers at Monroeville Mall are. One was probably about 5’4” with some lip ring thing in, and the other was taller, probably 5’10”, and lean and had a slight acne problem. I was thinking about how I wished I’d bought stock in Clearsil back in the 80’s, right before MTV exploded and acne was something teenagers were supposed to fight against, not just except and try to keep their faces clean.
These boys were checking out several different colognes at the counter (this Macy’s actually has a small men’s cologne counter, only one counter, unlike others I’ve seen that encompass several different counters) and had a bunch of those strips used to spray the different samples for testing in front of them. And then, as they were crouched down looking at prices, I saw the smaller one take the hand of the other boy while using his other hand to point at a specific price on the list behind the glass.
It was very subtle, and a very small gesture, but there it was. And it wasn’t some accidental hand holding, if that makes sense. It was the hand holding of two people who are dating. I was frozen a few feet away, as it was so unexpected, so unseen, that it took me a few extra moments to register that it was just two teenagers holding hands. You don’t see two boys in the Monroeville Mall holding hands, but they were discreet about it: the section of the counter they were at was facing the inside of the store, and pretty much I was the only person who could see it. However, they didn’t even look around to see if anyone was around when they did it as they looked too intent on checking out the prices and the different colognes to pay attention to anyone else. The actual act of hand holding was, I don’t know, natural for them. It didn’t seem like they were making a statement. They were two teenagers who were dating and holding hands.
I didn’t move for the longest time. I didn’t just stand there and stare at them, but I was aware where they were as they walked around and continued to hold hands. I expected when they got to the other side of the counter that they would separate their hands and go back to being two non-descript teenage boys. I mean, we aren’t in West Hollywood or The Village or even North Halstead Street. Fuck, we weren’t even in Shadyside, they gayest part of Pittsburgh. We were in the suburbs of Pittsburgh. We were in the Monroeville Mall. If you just casually glanced around at the other teenagers walking around the mall, you could see what would be referred to in my day as either “Yo! MTV Raps” or “Headbangers Ball,” (and yes, I do know that by using these two shows as a pop culture reference clearly shows that I am not currently a teenage boy trying to hold hands anywhere in public with any other boy – hey, at least the previous sentences included three references to actual “gay ghettos” I’ve been to in bigger cities) not the open society where two teenage boys could shop while holding hands.
They stopped holding hands when they leave, without buying any cologne. I go back to checking the new Jean Paul Gaultier cologne (cleverly known as Gaultier 2), pricing it. It smells good and comes in a nice package (you can buy one bottle for $55 or two bottle, that actually stick together by magnets, for $75 at Macy’s.) When I look out, the two boys are getting onto the escalator going down and are holding hands again. I am again stupefied. I find their actions actually brave, as they seem to want to hold hands and let people know they are holding hands, but I think it is also stupid and dangerous. So I decide I will be their savior and fallow them to help defend them when they are attacked.
I will point out that each of these boys had on regular jeans and non-descript t-shirts, nothing that would suggest they were part of some clique or group in particular. Each of them had short haircuts, but not buzzed. Just regular. One did have that lip ring thing, but that was the most distinguishing feature on either of them. No “Dashboard Confessional” t-shirts to show they were “emo boys.” No ripped jeans and chained wallets and Converses showing they were into heavier metal music . No over sized basketball team jerseys with a baseball cap advertising some out of town sports team with the laser 3-D stickers still attached and the brim of the hat impossibly straight (instead of impossibly curved as was the style about 10 minutes ago) to show they liked rap. So there was no specific clique or group which they could readily be identified based on their appearance, so I didn’t think they would have any other back up in case there was trouble.
And there was no trouble. There were a few snickers from the rap clique (the one boy was wearing a GINORMOUS Tupac t-shirt – this thing, I swear, had to be a life size depiction of the dead rapper, and it went from his neck down past his knees – what is up with that?) And some looks from some preppy boys and their girlfriends, but no one approached them or even made a move to walk closer to them. Or away from them for that matter. They were just two teenage boys, holding hands, walking through a mall on a Tuesday evening. In the food court, they met up with other friends, whom I noted were some girls some boys but none that looked like they were stereotypical effeminate boys, and sat down to eat some leftover fries with the group. I figured they had back up now, so they didn’t need this creepy 37 year old stalking them anymore, so I left.
But I am still kind of amazed that 2 boys can do that at the Monroeville Mall, hold hands and not make it look like they were trying to make some statement, not look like they were frightened of being beat up while making this statement. They looked like two teenagers who were dating and shopping or just hanging out at the mall and holding hands.
And that might have been the coolest thing I’ve seen in a long time. I don’t think it is something that I am going to see again for a long time. But for some reason, they were confident enough to do it, and just did it. And it looked so normal. Fuckin A!
I’m walking into Macy’s, as I have given up on finding an oversized movie poster at the Monroeville Mall, and decide to check out some of the new colognes. I don’t buy too many as I have an obscure scent that I use that fits me and isn’t overpowering (my older sister has this strange thought that I bathed myself in Polo when we were in high school, but I don’t remember it that way, so I am paranoid about strong colognes. I used Polo, and it was, at the time, a unique scent, therefore I think people thought I used it excessively, but I didn’t. Or maybe I, just being a poor teenage boy and having just enough excess money to buy Polo cologne wanted to put a lot of it on to let people know that I could actually afford the expensive cologne. Whatever.)
At the counter were two teenage boys. Bland, white and non offensive looking as most teenagers at Monroeville Mall are. One was probably about 5’4” with some lip ring thing in, and the other was taller, probably 5’10”, and lean and had a slight acne problem. I was thinking about how I wished I’d bought stock in Clearsil back in the 80’s, right before MTV exploded and acne was something teenagers were supposed to fight against, not just except and try to keep their faces clean.
These boys were checking out several different colognes at the counter (this Macy’s actually has a small men’s cologne counter, only one counter, unlike others I’ve seen that encompass several different counters) and had a bunch of those strips used to spray the different samples for testing in front of them. And then, as they were crouched down looking at prices, I saw the smaller one take the hand of the other boy while using his other hand to point at a specific price on the list behind the glass.
It was very subtle, and a very small gesture, but there it was. And it wasn’t some accidental hand holding, if that makes sense. It was the hand holding of two people who are dating. I was frozen a few feet away, as it was so unexpected, so unseen, that it took me a few extra moments to register that it was just two teenagers holding hands. You don’t see two boys in the Monroeville Mall holding hands, but they were discreet about it: the section of the counter they were at was facing the inside of the store, and pretty much I was the only person who could see it. However, they didn’t even look around to see if anyone was around when they did it as they looked too intent on checking out the prices and the different colognes to pay attention to anyone else. The actual act of hand holding was, I don’t know, natural for them. It didn’t seem like they were making a statement. They were two teenagers who were dating and holding hands.
I didn’t move for the longest time. I didn’t just stand there and stare at them, but I was aware where they were as they walked around and continued to hold hands. I expected when they got to the other side of the counter that they would separate their hands and go back to being two non-descript teenage boys. I mean, we aren’t in West Hollywood or The Village or even North Halstead Street. Fuck, we weren’t even in Shadyside, they gayest part of Pittsburgh. We were in the suburbs of Pittsburgh. We were in the Monroeville Mall. If you just casually glanced around at the other teenagers walking around the mall, you could see what would be referred to in my day as either “Yo! MTV Raps” or “Headbangers Ball,” (and yes, I do know that by using these two shows as a pop culture reference clearly shows that I am not currently a teenage boy trying to hold hands anywhere in public with any other boy – hey, at least the previous sentences included three references to actual “gay ghettos” I’ve been to in bigger cities) not the open society where two teenage boys could shop while holding hands.
They stopped holding hands when they leave, without buying any cologne. I go back to checking the new Jean Paul Gaultier cologne (cleverly known as Gaultier 2), pricing it. It smells good and comes in a nice package (you can buy one bottle for $55 or two bottle, that actually stick together by magnets, for $75 at Macy’s.) When I look out, the two boys are getting onto the escalator going down and are holding hands again. I am again stupefied. I find their actions actually brave, as they seem to want to hold hands and let people know they are holding hands, but I think it is also stupid and dangerous. So I decide I will be their savior and fallow them to help defend them when they are attacked.
I will point out that each of these boys had on regular jeans and non-descript t-shirts, nothing that would suggest they were part of some clique or group in particular. Each of them had short haircuts, but not buzzed. Just regular. One did have that lip ring thing, but that was the most distinguishing feature on either of them. No “Dashboard Confessional” t-shirts to show they were “emo boys.” No ripped jeans and chained wallets and Converses showing they were into heavier metal music . No over sized basketball team jerseys with a baseball cap advertising some out of town sports team with the laser 3-D stickers still attached and the brim of the hat impossibly straight (instead of impossibly curved as was the style about 10 minutes ago) to show they liked rap. So there was no specific clique or group which they could readily be identified based on their appearance, so I didn’t think they would have any other back up in case there was trouble.
And there was no trouble. There were a few snickers from the rap clique (the one boy was wearing a GINORMOUS Tupac t-shirt – this thing, I swear, had to be a life size depiction of the dead rapper, and it went from his neck down past his knees – what is up with that?) And some looks from some preppy boys and their girlfriends, but no one approached them or even made a move to walk closer to them. Or away from them for that matter. They were just two teenage boys, holding hands, walking through a mall on a Tuesday evening. In the food court, they met up with other friends, whom I noted were some girls some boys but none that looked like they were stereotypical effeminate boys, and sat down to eat some leftover fries with the group. I figured they had back up now, so they didn’t need this creepy 37 year old stalking them anymore, so I left.
But I am still kind of amazed that 2 boys can do that at the Monroeville Mall, hold hands and not make it look like they were trying to make some statement, not look like they were frightened of being beat up while making this statement. They looked like two teenagers who were dating and shopping or just hanging out at the mall and holding hands.
And that might have been the coolest thing I’ve seen in a long time. I don’t think it is something that I am going to see again for a long time. But for some reason, they were confident enough to do it, and just did it. And it looked so normal. Fuckin A!
posted by Mike at 8:35 AM
2 Comments:
awesome post! me and mikey hold hands sometimes in public but all depends have 2 b careful not get beat up. thats the sad part.
way cool post!
I do agree that you have to be careful. I just love the fact that it is slowly, very slowly, being acceptable.
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