ARMOUR HOT DOGS, the dogs kids love to bite!

6 more pounds. I now weigh less than I have since 1998. This low calorie/exercise seems to actually work. Who woulda thunk?

Saturday was the first time I went over the 1600 calorie diet. I was good at the Pirates game on Friday, but with the smell of the good food and a great Pirates game, I succumbed and had 2 hot dogs with relish & onions. Mmmmmm. I love baseball and hot dogs. It just goes together like Maury & white trash paternity tests.

Ran on Friday & Saturday. I have been adding more speed to get up to 3 miles/day. Once that is done I can start with the incline to see what difference that could make. I realize every day that I have a lot more to do, no matter what results I have attained so far in this process. To put it poetically, I have many miles to go before I sleep. Yeah, that is appropriate.

I had quite a busy weekend. 2 Pirates games, went out with friends to a few clubs Saturday night after the Pirates victory, though I can’t say it was fun. I just am not a bar person, and I feel inadequate. At gay bars in any city I go to, I feel like a huge beached whale. HUGE. BEACHED. WHALE. Back a few years ago, when I was at my heaviest, I was in a gay bar shooting pool with Gary. I heard some guys talking about liking one of the guys shooting pool, and I strained my ears to hear who it was they were talking about (there is a brick pillar in the corner of the bar and I casually walked to the side of the pillar opposite of where they were) as one of the other guys said “Which one?” And the speaker said “Not the Marshmellow Man.” Gary is a little swimmers built guy and I was fat. Around the same time we were out of town, and one guy at a club asked Gary why he brought a straight man to a gay bar, and when Gary informed this guy that I wasn’t straight this guy said “Oh, I didn’t know gay men were that fat.” As a result, I have not had as much fun going to gay bars in the past 5-6 years.

Here is a Toby update. He is back in Pittsburgh. He went through 4 days in Chicago to get back to Pittsburgh, but he made it back to…sleep in his car, it seems. He called me about some stuff I am storing in my house for him, came over to get that stuff, fell asleep on my couch, and then left Sunday morning without the stuff he supposedly came over to get. Hmmm…methinks he only came over to sleep in a warm house. And if I’m being honest, I am mad at myself for allowing even to come over. He has started calling me again and again to bitch, moan and complain about his life. He supposedly has a job lined up in Chicago to basically be the live-in housecleaner for some wealthy woman. But he seems to have to finish up some business here before he can move. But he called me about 6 times yesterday to bitch and moan about his mother, about his living arrangements right now, about how he lost his last job, about how he isn’t getting unemployment (he was in freakin’ California for 3+ weeks and missed some appointment – gee, can’t imagine how he lost his unemployment), bitching about everything and I tell him it is his fault and he gets mad at me. I swear he is getting dumber as he gets older. He was a freakin’ Eagle Scout for christsakes. How can he be almost useless now? What has gone from reaching a very difficult level of achievement in the BSA and not being able to keep a job for even a year?

I want him to just move, get out of my life and get on with his own. I know that sounds cold hearted now, but I think I’ve surpassed my nice quota to him for all that he has done for me (or done to me, whichever it is.) My patience and my goodwill have been depleted. If he hasn’t moved in the next two weeks, I think I will have to tell him I can’t talk to him ever again. I am just getting to the point where I don’t care.