I don't mind masquerading with all those other fools. I don't mind the games I'm playing, because I've learned the rules

I have run all three days this week so far, around 2 miles per day in 30 minutes. I think I am going to keep running and not be as strict on the diet, at least for now. It isn't that I am eating poorly all the time, but I think I need to prove that I can run again to myself before I conquer the eating healthy part.

It sounds like a cop out, even as I type it, but I know what works for me. And like the weight training, I know what won't work right now. After I've been running and prove to myself that I can do it again, then I can start concentrating on the 1600 calorie per day diet. It isn't like I'm going to shove all food down, but I can control the running now, at least I think I can. Once I have my running confidence back, I will be up to the task of eating well.

That aside, I want to tell a little story from Saturday night, at Holly's party. There was a friend of the neighbor at the party, and he is in the navy, has been for 12 years. He was actually leaving a few days after the party, so he was getting his freak on.

Well, in order to impress the women there, he was talking about all the countries he'd been to, and one of the women asked if he'd been to Italy. He said he had been, but won't go back because "The place was full of fags."

Hmmm, yeah, I wasn't about to let that go. Not only was I in attendance, but Holly's brother is gay. So I said "Really? I was in Italy last year, and I couldn't find another fag to save my life." And to make my point clear, I said “And I was looking for some hot Italian ass!”

He realized his "mistake" and tried to backtrack, "Well, I have only been to Naples, and they were everywhere."

"Yeah," I said sarcastically, "I find that hard to believe."

"There were so many there that one of my shipmates got drunk one night and was found the next morning in an alley with his pants down and his ass bleeding."

I, as well as several other party goers, was shocked at this sentence. "So you were saying he was raped?"

Getting defensive, he said "Well, that is what happened. I know the guy."

I'd had enough of his homophobia. "Rape is a crime of control, not of passion."

"I only know the facts, man." he said, sounding like he was getting angry.

"Well, contrary to what you and your navy friends think, us homos don't go around raping innocent seamen for kicks. What happened was your friend wanted fucked, so he got drunk and got fucked in an alleyway. And when he got caught, he lied. Your navy buddy is a butt pirate."

I could tell he was I was getting on his nerves but he wanted to play the testosterone filled man "No, we got the 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy, so why would he do that."

I was flabbergasted. "So you are telling me that this guy got raped and there wasn't some big investigation into it? So when my ex was in the navy for 8 years getting boned at every port, he was actually getting raped?"

I think I was seething by this point. "Your 'Don't ask, don't tell' bullshit only makes the gay seamen lie about why they were getting fucked."

With that, I walked away. I just can't believe that these über-masculine men think that us queers want their asses so badly that we will pounce on them if they get drunk, ripped their pants off, and fuck them if given the chance.

This is the ignorance we are all facing. Yeah, Don't ask, don't tell is a great solution that doesn't hurt anyone.

Fuck ups.