Sunday, August 03, 2008

Just a puppet on a lonely string: oh who would ever want to be king?

It has been an interesting week or two. I was doing alright for a few days, and then something happened and it seems the two vertebrae went back out of place. Yeah me. So I need to get back to the physical therapist to get it back in place.

I've been eating better. Well, let's say that I've been eating healthier, more fruits and vegetables. I've still been eating too much more often, but I am hoping that I will get that under control soon enough.

The problem is I still can't run on the treadmill. I haven't tried to run recently, but I can barely walk at times. It isn't that I am hunched over in pain constantly, but I have to keep stretching when I walk around a mall and such. You can't be running on a treadmill and trying to stretch at the same time.

I fell like a yo-yo sometimes. Some days it is good, some days it is bad. And I get tired about the pain and about the inability to do much about it. I wish there was a pill I could take to get rid of the pain. I don't think I've ever had pain like this that won't go away. And I don't think I would have ever understood people who've had this constant pain before. It effects everything you do, all day long.

So what happens when this never, ever goes away? How do I get back into shape if my body is in constant pain? How do you have a productive life when you can do so little so often?

Several of my co-workers did a 5K run this weekend. I really, really wish I could have done it with them, even if I had to walk half of it. I don't really like running outdoors, but I believe I
could do it for 5 kilometers. That's 3.1 miles. I have done that before, I know it. Maybe not out in the wild (or whatever the course would be) but I know I can do it.

And that is my new goal. I want to complete a 5k run outdoors.

Oh yeah, I am 254.5 lbs. Fuck me.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will run it with you.

6:53 AM  
Blogger Flor Morena said...

You are a very good writer!

4:26 PM  
Anonymous Anavar said...

I wish you all the luck and motivation to get your life and weight on track! Greetings

5:27 AM  

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