“You live and learn. At any rate, you live.” – Douglas Adams

I was working at the movie theater Friday night, being an usher with Bryan, some 17 year old emo boy I work with. As we were approaching one theater, the movie hadn’t finished as scheduled, and Bryan says “That’s so gay” in reference to the fact that the movies were running late and therefore messing up our schedule. Then he looks at me and says “Sorry, no offense.”

So I have to explain to him how gay means: happy or merry; bright or showy; a homosexual person. In order to use the term “gay” as a negative, you have to find the root origin of how & why it would be used to denote a bad thing. Are being happy, merry, bright or showy negative? No. Therefore, when used pejoratively, it is in connotation to the homosexual. I don’t think he understood, as he stared at me with his one good eye (being emo, hair covers about 3/5 of his face, and only one eye seems to be visible at any point in time.)

I tell all this because shortly after that, we were at the concession stand, getting drinks, and Bryan looked all mopey. I, of course, chalk this up to him being emo. Sandy, one of the high school girls tells him to cheer up and “skip around the lobby” of the theater to get some energy. He looks mortified (or as mortified as someone can look when you can only see a fraction of their face) at this idea. I decide to joke with him “That would be gay, Bryan.” He kind of laughs at that.

Then, the white trash woman who just started there looks over and says “Don’t do that. We wouldn’t want to turn you into a faggot.” She seems to notice the look of horror on the faces of Bryan & Sandy, so she looks at Bryan and says “No offense.”

I look at her and say “Well, if you don’t want to be offensive, don’t use the word ‘faggot.’” There were several moments where nothing was said, and then customers came, and everyone went about their business as if nothing had happened.

Alright, world, what is so fucked up here that someone can openly use the word “faggot” and we only get some stunned looks. I expected one of the other workers to at least agree that the use of the word is abhorrent and unacceptable. Instead, we get slack jawed yokels.

I decide that I will tell the manager to get her all riled up and let her deal with it. When an underling hears from management that it is completely unacceptable to use any type of hateful words, then we can feel safe in our work environment. The manager seemed appropriately shocked at the idea her worker said something like this, but then she responded “Do you want me to say something to her?” What the fuck do you think? Why do you think I said something to you? To spread gossip?

How am I supposed to respond now? If I’d have said some words that were considered racial slurs, I’d have been, at the least, escorted out the building. If I would have made any anti-Semitic remarks, management would have at least reprimanded me. Instead, when an anti-homosexual remark is made by an employee, management questions whether they should address the employee who said it.

Fuck it.