Sometimes you've got to fall before you're found out
Maybe TODAY can be the first day of the rest of my life…blah blah blah.
It was what can only be termed a bad weekend for healthy eating for me. And it wasn’t even really just the weekend – it started on Thursday, and went right through to yesterday. I don’t even want to try to recreate what happened, as it involved eating out each day and a lot of fried foods. Some I didn’t even enjoy, but just shoved down my cake-hole because it was there.
The only saving grace in the whole weekend fiasco is I did run on Friday & Saturday. I got up to 2.96 miles in 30 minutes. That “3 miles in 30 minutes” is not just a pipe dream, but it is harder than I thought it would be. I sped it up on Saturday a lot more, and still didn’t make 3 miles. I will try this week to do it in 30 minutes, and if I don’t, I figure I will go to 31 minutes, as the “3 miles” goal will be too great a pull to keep hitting 2.96 miles.
I think what bothers me most is that I thought I had all this resolve, some stron will. I had it in October when I started running, and it only got stronger in March when I started the low calorie diet. I went to Washington DC and for a weekend at the end of March and only had one slip up, and really, I still counted calories as much as possible on that trip. I went to many Pirates games in April & May and counted calories, all hot dogs, and kept at or below 1600 calories most every day.
And it should be even easier now cause I am allowing myself frozen dinners and eating off of low calorie menus at restaurants. I did the whole “all natural” diet for almost all of those first 6 weeks, which is so difficult. I made almost all of my meals, and it was fresh fruits, vegetables, meats, etc. It wasn’t boxed frozen lunches and eating out. Now, I am just trying to stay around approximately 1,600 calories, and I am binging on stupid things. On Thursday at work, I was in the mood for peanut butter, so instead of either having a tablespoon of the Smart Balance PB that is available in my unit (that would have been 150 calories and 17 g fat) or waiting till I got home (my Better 'n' Peanut Butter is 100 calories and 2.5 g fat), I went to get a bag of Reese’s Pieces. And when the vending machine messed up and I got 2 of them, instead of giving one away, I ate both. That was 440 calories and 22 g of fat. And that isn’t all. Cookies. Salt & vinegar potato chips. Cheddar & sour cream potato chips. Baked Lays.
Then Friday morning, went to breakfast with a friend who was in from out of town. Pancakes & scrambled eggs, and I nearly licked the plate clean (I did get sugar free syrup.) Happy hour with softball team. Buffalo chicken wings. Hummus. Grilled Cheese with bacon. Fries. Beer. Other assorted fried treats. Saturday worse, Sunday bad. For no reason.
I get on the scale this morning. It read 224 lbs. I would bet money that by Friday morning, I will have that down to 220 lbs. And then it will start all over again, and this time for a 4 day weekend as Monday is Labor Day. I need to start clamping down on those bad weekends that end up being 4 days long. I need to stay focused.
No matter how I put it on here, I only think of myself as down about 20 pounds (I will easily get to 220, believe me.) The highest recorded weight in my adulthood was 272 lbs. I have been there twice, once while in college about 1990, and once in 2001 (I was joking and I stepped onto a scale at an airport used to measure the weight of your luggage, and after subtracting for clothes, it would have been 272 lbs. Almost ruined the rest of my trip)
It was after the 2001 weight that I started to actually exercise and lose some weight (I lost it in college as well, but that was only after getting bronchial pneumonia and spending the better part of my last college semester in bed.) I got a Gazelle (Tony Little’s Gazelle, and before you ask, it was free, so don’t make fun of me) and used it and started getting some good results. And then my grandmother died (February 2002) and I went into what can only be described as a depression/bender, where Jack Daniels and his little band of merry helpers (Lynchburg Lemonade, Tennessee Tea, Blackberry Jack, Tennessee Sunset, Red-Eyed Jack) helped me through the nights. It seems that Jack and his friends are all made with sugars, or at least a lot of sugars, so I gained the weight back.
After about 4 weeks of this, I figured it out and started using the Gazelle again, and by Spring 2003, I was down to about 242 lbs. And no matter what I did, I couldn’t seem to get down below 242 lbs on any regular basis. And I stayed that way until October 2004, when I hurt my right calf muscle playing in a tournament in DC. I got up over 250 lbs, but fought back when my leg got better and was down to about 238 lbs at the beginning of 2005.
Then, on 06/11/2005, I tore my leg calf muscle. And let me tell you, that hurt like hell. Every step I’d take would be like a shooting pain up my leg. It wasn't even stepping, most any movement caused shooting pain. Sleeping was a nightmare, and I do'nt take pain medication, so it was just brutal. I couldn’t walk anywhere without assistance (and I had refused stupid crutches). I was in the middle of moving myself from my parents into my own house when I tore it, so just when it started to heal a little bit, I was walking up steps with a box and missed a step, and reinjured – and that is when the pretty purple and red colors started to appear. Major pain.
So instead of going to the doctors again and again, I decided the best way to heal was to do nothing. So that is what I did. And once I reached 260 lbs, I stopped weighing myself. I was at that weight when I went to the doctors on November 4, 2005, and around that weight again at the end of December.
So even though I have technically lost 35-40 lbs, I am only thinking that 242 lbs. should be my base weight, and so I’ve lost about 20 lbs. And I have to work harder. Cause I don’t want to 272 lbs, 260 lbs, 242 lbs, or even 224 lbs. I don’t know what I want my final weight to be, but it is less than I am currently.
It was what can only be termed a bad weekend for healthy eating for me. And it wasn’t even really just the weekend – it started on Thursday, and went right through to yesterday. I don’t even want to try to recreate what happened, as it involved eating out each day and a lot of fried foods. Some I didn’t even enjoy, but just shoved down my cake-hole because it was there.
The only saving grace in the whole weekend fiasco is I did run on Friday & Saturday. I got up to 2.96 miles in 30 minutes. That “3 miles in 30 minutes” is not just a pipe dream, but it is harder than I thought it would be. I sped it up on Saturday a lot more, and still didn’t make 3 miles. I will try this week to do it in 30 minutes, and if I don’t, I figure I will go to 31 minutes, as the “3 miles” goal will be too great a pull to keep hitting 2.96 miles.
I think what bothers me most is that I thought I had all this resolve, some stron will. I had it in October when I started running, and it only got stronger in March when I started the low calorie diet. I went to Washington DC and for a weekend at the end of March and only had one slip up, and really, I still counted calories as much as possible on that trip. I went to many Pirates games in April & May and counted calories, all hot dogs, and kept at or below 1600 calories most every day.
And it should be even easier now cause I am allowing myself frozen dinners and eating off of low calorie menus at restaurants. I did the whole “all natural” diet for almost all of those first 6 weeks, which is so difficult. I made almost all of my meals, and it was fresh fruits, vegetables, meats, etc. It wasn’t boxed frozen lunches and eating out. Now, I am just trying to stay around approximately 1,600 calories, and I am binging on stupid things. On Thursday at work, I was in the mood for peanut butter, so instead of either having a tablespoon of the Smart Balance PB that is available in my unit (that would have been 150 calories and 17 g fat) or waiting till I got home (my Better 'n' Peanut Butter is 100 calories and 2.5 g fat), I went to get a bag of Reese’s Pieces. And when the vending machine messed up and I got 2 of them, instead of giving one away, I ate both. That was 440 calories and 22 g of fat. And that isn’t all. Cookies. Salt & vinegar potato chips. Cheddar & sour cream potato chips. Baked Lays.
Then Friday morning, went to breakfast with a friend who was in from out of town. Pancakes & scrambled eggs, and I nearly licked the plate clean (I did get sugar free syrup.) Happy hour with softball team. Buffalo chicken wings. Hummus. Grilled Cheese with bacon. Fries. Beer. Other assorted fried treats. Saturday worse, Sunday bad. For no reason.
I get on the scale this morning. It read 224 lbs. I would bet money that by Friday morning, I will have that down to 220 lbs. And then it will start all over again, and this time for a 4 day weekend as Monday is Labor Day. I need to start clamping down on those bad weekends that end up being 4 days long. I need to stay focused.
No matter how I put it on here, I only think of myself as down about 20 pounds (I will easily get to 220, believe me.) The highest recorded weight in my adulthood was 272 lbs. I have been there twice, once while in college about 1990, and once in 2001 (I was joking and I stepped onto a scale at an airport used to measure the weight of your luggage, and after subtracting for clothes, it would have been 272 lbs. Almost ruined the rest of my trip)
It was after the 2001 weight that I started to actually exercise and lose some weight (I lost it in college as well, but that was only after getting bronchial pneumonia and spending the better part of my last college semester in bed.) I got a Gazelle (Tony Little’s Gazelle, and before you ask, it was free, so don’t make fun of me) and used it and started getting some good results. And then my grandmother died (February 2002) and I went into what can only be described as a depression/bender, where Jack Daniels and his little band of merry helpers (Lynchburg Lemonade, Tennessee Tea, Blackberry Jack, Tennessee Sunset, Red-Eyed Jack) helped me through the nights. It seems that Jack and his friends are all made with sugars, or at least a lot of sugars, so I gained the weight back.
After about 4 weeks of this, I figured it out and started using the Gazelle again, and by Spring 2003, I was down to about 242 lbs. And no matter what I did, I couldn’t seem to get down below 242 lbs on any regular basis. And I stayed that way until October 2004, when I hurt my right calf muscle playing in a tournament in DC. I got up over 250 lbs, but fought back when my leg got better and was down to about 238 lbs at the beginning of 2005.
Then, on 06/11/2005, I tore my leg calf muscle. And let me tell you, that hurt like hell. Every step I’d take would be like a shooting pain up my leg. It wasn't even stepping, most any movement caused shooting pain. Sleeping was a nightmare, and I do'nt take pain medication, so it was just brutal. I couldn’t walk anywhere without assistance (and I had refused stupid crutches). I was in the middle of moving myself from my parents into my own house when I tore it, so just when it started to heal a little bit, I was walking up steps with a box and missed a step, and reinjured – and that is when the pretty purple and red colors started to appear. Major pain.
So instead of going to the doctors again and again, I decided the best way to heal was to do nothing. So that is what I did. And once I reached 260 lbs, I stopped weighing myself. I was at that weight when I went to the doctors on November 4, 2005, and around that weight again at the end of December.
So even though I have technically lost 35-40 lbs, I am only thinking that 242 lbs. should be my base weight, and so I’ve lost about 20 lbs. And I have to work harder. Cause I don’t want to 272 lbs, 260 lbs, 242 lbs, or even 224 lbs. I don’t know what I want my final weight to be, but it is less than I am currently.
posted by Mike at 12:13 PM
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