Are you getting somewhere? Or did you get lost in Amsterdam?

So here will be myone and onny update from Amsterdam.

Day one - sleep, food, riding the tram, sleep, drinking, sleep, and then some more food. The Pancake Bakery.

Day 2 - several museums, more food, more beer, a stop at a coffeehouse (I was only a visitor, not a participant in anything.) Went to the New Church, a beautiful 600 year old cathedral. Beer and more food.

OK, so take day 2, and pace that out over the past 3 days. We have run from one sight to another, riding the trolley system many times. I would say to anyone interested in going to Amsterdam to get the I Amsterdam card. It is a museum & trolley card that lets you get into all the major attractions and get to them on the public transport system.

Went to the Heineken Experience today, and it was fantastic, though I was a bit drunk at noon. That isn't always a bad thing, but it was weird to be stumbling around a foreign country in the middle of the day trashed.

I have gained tons of weight. I know this already. new pants that fit great when I bought them last Tuesday are a good bit tighter today. Not sure if I am happy about that or not, but I can only blame myself. I quit exercising and eating right the Friday before I left, and now am on my second week. I think for my trip to Rome at the end of June I will work out until the last possible moment, and not drink as much alcohol. Yeah, sure. The best laid plans...

We have the rest of today (it is dinner) and tomorrow before we leave for home on Thursday. So far, everything is going great, really a great time. This has been a very successful trip so far.

On a last note, I did forget how beautiful people are over here. I wonder if they know they are so much better looking, or if it is just they take it for granted. Americans are so fat. Trust me on that.
On Saturday eve, we came back to the hotel for a nap at 6:30 pm, and didn't really leave the hotel again until the next morning. Jet lag hit both of us

Stop me falling down, stop me making movies of myself

I had a really strange weekend that had me very grumpy, and then my kitten is going through her first heat, and she was screaming all night Sunday, so I didn’t sleep much at all going in to work yesterday. Put that together with 2 shitty softball games, and my inability to get movies onto my iPod for my trip, and then the regular stress of having to get a lot of work done before I leave Wednesday and the general anxiety with getting ready to be gone for over a week from home and I was in a very foul mood yesterday.

I have made an executive decision not to run this week. I doubt I will end up packing the running shoes. I know how I like to spend my time in museums, and I don’t want to put more stress on my legs by running. And as I found out on Sunday, as I ran before my softball games, running outdoors is a lit different from running on a treadmill (especially a treadmill that has a special shock absorbent deck to take a lot of pressure of my knees and hips.)

I have been doing a lot of cleaning the house and laundry and packing and folding and dishes and stuff to get ready to leave for the trip. I will say now that I don’t know how Carl is going to do all he needs to do considering her is in Nashville for work as of Sunday and won’t be getting back until 8:30 pm Wednesday night. I will probably already be at his place when he gets in, and we will be getting up early Thursday morning to get to the airport.

I am also not eating too well this week. And I don’t plan on eating too well next week either. That is one problem with the low calorie, healthy diet – it is more time consuming. I just hope that I don’t get too fat. This fucking thing just gets tougher and tougher.

He sings the songs that remind him of the better times

So on the final weigh in before the trip, I lost no weight over the past week. 221 lbs. Hmmm…I am guessing that last weekend was much worse than I thought it would be.

It did make me run a little harder this morning after the weigh-in. I have run every day this week so far, so I will probably not run tomorrow, but I will be back on the treadmill on Sunday before my softball games. I don’t know yet if I want to take my running shoes with me to Amsterdam to be honest; I usually like to only travel with the essentials, and I don’t know what chance there is that I will really want to run over there.

I have been thinking about getting a scale. I think it will let me know when I go too far, but I also fear that it will let me reward myself sooner anytime I lose a little weight. This is annoying. Either way, it won’t happen until after I get back from at least Amsterdam, if not until after I get back from Rome in July.

In the never ending joy that is my life, I will be spending tonight and tomorrow night working at the movie theater. I might think about cutting hours later on this summer at the theater. I enjoy working there, but every Friday & Saturday evening is a bit much. And I already don’t do anything on the weekends I go to Pirates games; now I don’t do anything on the alternate weekends when I work. And I’d like to have a little more of a night life on the weekends.

And another update on Toby. He is living in Chicago working for a home cleaning agency for the wealthy. And he is trying to be rent a one-bedroom apartment for $1400/month. Seems a bit excessive to me, as he could have had a regular job in Pittsburgh area and spend a fraction of that on a bigger apartment, but I guess he wanted to be in a bigger city. Only problem is that he has been calling me and bitching about the price of the apartment, even before he actually gets it. I wonder how long this job will last.

workin' on a mystery, goin' wherever it leads; runnin' down a dream

I went to see “The Da Vinci Code” last night. One of the perks of a low paying second job at a theater is sometimes you get to see the movies before they come out. I enjoyed it, thought it was well done, and for the most part it stayed true to the book – or at least most of the book, as I haven’t finished the last 150 pages of the book. I was going to finish it before this weekend, before I saw the movie, but the opportunity came up to see it last night, so I took that chance. It cuts out a lot of the tension from the book, but they have to do that to keep the movie going.

One of the stupid things I did was that I didn’t have enough calories before I went to the movie. By 8:30 pm, I usually have had about 1400 calories, if not more. Last night, as I was a bit rushed finishing up running and stuff, I had only had about 1100 calories before I sat down next to my mother at the movie. And then she opened her bag of nacho chips and her bag of sour cream chips. I held out for about 2 hours: sadly, the movie is about 2:20. So I grabbed the bag and had about 3 big handfuls of chips. And they tasted so good. Then I had a fourth just for good measure.

Interesting, I started cramping up after about 22 minutes running last night. I can usually last until 27 minutes with no problem, so I was kind of annoyed that I cramped up last night. I wonder if I didn’t eat enough or something beforehand. I was going to take tonight off from running, but I don’t think I can yet. I need to get in a few good runs prior to taking a week off for Amsterdam.

And today doesn’t look as good on the food front. I brought some fruits and snacks, but I forgot to pick up one of the frozen lunches on my way out the door, so I am low on calories. And I think that when I am low on calories, that seems to be when I get in trouble with eating other bad things. And I don’t want to go out and get something as I just spent another $45 on Monday on food, and I hate to waste money and gas to drive out somewhere and get food. I think I can eat what I got here and make it till I get home tonight.

I'm speeding into a new sunrise

I forgot to update my softball games from this weekend. I’ve been much busier at work these past two weeks, and I don’t know if I actually have more work or if I am feeling the pressure to get as much done as possible prior to leaving for Amsterdam.

We played 2 games on Sunday, and we won both of them. First game, I started out very slow, as did the whole team. I was playing right center, and one got over my head which went for a triple. After that, which about the third inning, my team was down 10-4. We then mounted our comeback, which included me actually hitting and scoring. We ended up winning 17-16, with me scoring the winning run in the top of the 7th inning (our league plays 7 inning games.)

It was in the next game that I felt comfortable in the field. It started off in the first inning when, with runners at first & third, a screaming line drive was hit to center field. I had paid attention to this batter from the first game and knew he liked the middle of the field, so I cheated over to true center, and was able to catch the ball and then whipped it to first base, as I saw the runner off the base. Sadly, our first baseman was dreaming of his better days in high school baseball I guess, as he was about 6 feet off the base and had to dive to his left to even stop the ball from going past him. Had he been on the bag, it would have been an easy double play. No runs scored, and the next batter popped up to the infield, ending the threat.

I hit 2 homeruns in the second game. One was a real home run, where I hit it over the heads of the outfielders and just kept running, and the second one was of the running as fast as possible variety and having to slide at home to make it in. In my next at bat, I hit a triple and didn’t want to make myself run home. I did score, though, so no problem. I had I think 5 put outs in the field, so I felt good about that. And at one point, with runners at 2nd & 3rd and no out, the other team intentionally walked me to load the bases. I felt like Barry, without the engorged head and shrunken nuts. We run by mercy rule, 21-6, after 5 innings.

There was one low point in the game for me. When it was still early in the second game, we were only winning by a few, and with one on and two outs, the batter hit one over the head of the left center fielder. This fielder is just about the fastest guy on the team, and he ran to the fence, got the ball and whipped it to the shortstop at cutoff who threw a strike to the catcher…who then let it doink off his glove, and the batter scored. I started screaming. I turned around, jogged about 20 feet further away from the field and started screaming “FUCK!” at the top of my lungs. I was furious. That is the one part of my league that frustrates me. We seem to always put the worst fielder at one of the most important positions, catcher. I think it frustrated me more as this was the second time that day it had happened. And as an outfielder, you run all out and try to make a perfect throw to the cutoff, only to see the catcher blow the play. It is frustrating, but I was much happier when we started scoring, and winning solves all problems.

My team is now in first place at 5-1. I am feeling good about this team, because, despite the mental errors, we seem to be able to play well when needed and we can score runs. It was nice in the second game to go ahead and stay ahead, as our previous 3 games we went down by a lot early and had to fight back to get even, winning 2 of them from large deficits (13 runs in the first game last week in the game we ended up winning). But the most important thing, as far as I can tell, is we have about 14 players who really want to play and about 3-4 who know they will play more sparingly. I have been on teams in the past where we are lucky to have 8 or 9 players who want to play all the time, and we’ve had to scratch together some line-ups, although that did lead to my greatest triumph as an outfielder. We had to play a doubleheader 3 seasons ago with only 3 outfielders (most softball leagues play with 4 outfielders), and I played center field, had a ton of put outs and we won both games. I also ended up ripping off the skin from both of my legs and spent about a month in a lot of pain. I learned that in the outfield that you need to play with long pants to protect your skin if you are going to slide & dive for catches. I also learned that winning can take the sting out of a lot of injuries.

A prophecy for a fantasy; the curse of a vivid mind

Ran for 30 minutes last night, and it was tough but I made it through. I was just under 3 miles again. I think if I’d run one more minute I’d make it to 3 miles. Not sure I want to put that pressure on myself 9 days before I leave for Amsterdam and then probably won’t run regularly.

Ate great yesterday, and was full and under 1600 calories at the end of the day. It has got me wondering if I can do a low calorie weekdays and higher calorie weekends for long. And still lose weight, of course.

The final thing I’ve been thinking about is what I want my goal weight to be. I have been reticent to give myself a weight-specific goal, but my doctor wants to see me at about 200 pounds. I didn’t think that was quite as possible as he did. I have thought all along that 210-215 was what should be my goal. But now that I am 11 pounds from the low part of that goal, I think I might be able to get at least below 210. We shall see where it goes from here.

So I turned myself to face me, but I've never caught a glimpse

I did not exercise much last week. I didn’t run on Monday, as I had a lot of errands to do after work and wasn’t getting home until after 7 pm. Then Tuesday, I get on the treadmill, and it is making some high pitched squeaking noise, so I only ran for 20 minutes before it got on my nerves (and my hearing) so much I couldn’t run anymore. Also, I was afraid I might harm it more – strange noises are made when two things are rubbing against each other when they probably shouldn’t be (think of the noise that comes out of two cats humping in the back alley – not a great sound.)

I tried running on Saturday before my softball game, but after 15 minutes the noise was annoying. So then yesterday, when Carl was in, we took it apart and found out that some belt needed Belt Dressing. Carl knew this from his days in the early 90’s at an auto parts store. So we went to an auto parts store, got the belt dressing, sprayed it on the belt and viola! No more noise!

Of course, I didn’t then run yesterday, as I was just so busy doing my busy life things, so I will start running after work today. I am sure my stamina will need to be worked on, and I am ready for a slight set back. But that is ok, just gives me something to work on (it will be interesting in Amsterdam to see what running we actually do.)

On Friday I had another weigh-in, and I was down 4 more pounds, bringing my total weight loss to 39 pounds, so I was happy about that. So how did I celebrate? By eating poorly the rest of the weekend.

Actually, that isn’t quite accurate. Friday was basically good, only one extra pizza so I was about 300 calories over, about 1900, and Saturday was only slightly bad, and could have been worse as I went to the Pirates game, but I didn’t have much food prior to going to the Pirates game, so the wings, hot dog and soft serve ice cream at the Pirates probably only put me around 2000 calories for the whole day.

Sunday, however, saw me at a local greasy spoon having a large veggie omelet with Carl & Kyle, and then lunch was at Fuddruckers, which I do love so much. And I did do well by only getting the 1/3 pound burger. But then decided that with my mound of French fries I should have mayo. A lot of mayo. And then, when we left there, I decided I really wanted hard ice cream, so we went to 31 flavors. And I had some sundae thing with two scoops of ice cream and caramel and nuts topping. And then I got home. And snacked on little things the rest of the night. I can’t possibly add it all up, but I am guessing, from a rough estimate, that I had closer to 3000 calories yesterday. If not more. Yeah, probably more now that I think about it. And remember, all this is done without running very much this past week.

This Friday will be my last weigh-in until after Amsterdam. I will be interested to see if there is any loss at all after this weekend. I am glad now that I don’t own a scale, as it would be depressing to see if I had some weight gain after this weekend. It was gluttoness. Hopefully I can get all back on track this week with running and eating properly. And hopefully, I can be good this weekend. That seems to be my new downfall. Each weekend, I am rewarding myself for doing good…but that is only doing good about 5 days a week, and I want to be better than that. At least for the next few months.

American Tune

Words & music by Paul Simon

Many's the time I've been mistaken
And many times confused
Yes, and I've often felt forsaken
And certainly misused
Oh, but I'm alright, I'm alright
I'm just weary to my bones
Still, you don't expect to be
Bright and bon vivant
So far a-way from home, so far away from home

And I don't know a soul who's not been battered
I don't have a friend who feels at ease
I don't know a dream that's not been shattered
or driven to its knees
but it's alright, it's alright
for we lived so well so long
Still, when I think of the
road we're traveling on
I wonder what's gone wrong
I can't help it, I wonder what has gone wrong

And I dreamed I was dying
I dreamed that my soul rose unexpectedly
And looking back down at me
Smiled reassuringly
And I dreamed I was flying
And high up above my eyes could clearly see
The Statue of Liberty
Sailing away to sea
And I dreamed I was flying

We come on the ship they call the Mayflower
We come on the ship that sailed the moon
We come in the a-ge's most uncertain hours
and sing an American tune
Oh, and it's alright, it's alright, it's alright
You can't be forever blessed
Still, tomorrow's going to be another working day
And I'm trying to get some rest
That's all I'm trying to get some rest

Girls will be boys and boys will be girls, it’s a mixed up muddled up shook up world

I had another 3 pound loss on Friday, putting me at 225 lbs (added that in for Carl) and then spent the weekend eating lots of food, most of them being the drive-through variety. I don’t know if I wanted to do that or if it was my “reward” for losing some weight.

This of course included firing up my own little deep fryer and deep frying some chicken wings, covered in Frank’s Red Hot Sauce and an Asian Dragon Sauce. Then I fried up some steak fries. I am now going to look into what else I can fry up, as it tasted so freakin good! I’m going to have to learn to control my deep frying skills, use them for good, and only sparingly. As I am in the mood right now to deep fry this Diet Coke can and frickin munch on it! I swear, I could do it!

I think I have to more careful in the next few weeks. I don’t want to slow down the good work I’ve put into it, and I want to be in better shape for the trip to Amsterdam. Not that I am trying to impress anyone in Amsterdam, but I also don’t want the pictures to come back looking like the 2001 pics from Amsterdam. I was really fat then.

One day I am going to learn how to pics up here, and you can see the “before” and “after” photos of this little experiment of mine.

It took me until Saturday to now have that strange pressure in my stomach every time I ate. I don’t know what that was, and I don’t think I want to know. It was just annoying enough to slow down my running. I didn’t end up running in Saturday, what with shopping and then work at the theater.

Had softball yesterday, 2 games. I am disappointed in my play so far. I had two balls go way over my head (I was playing right center field in the 4 person outfield) and I think that looked really bad on my part. And one of the balls that went over my head was from my arch-enemy. I will call my arch-enemy Frank here. Pronouns are not helpful (is “shim” a pronoun?). Frank & I got into an argument last year when Frank was being a dick (or a cunt, I can’t tell) on the field, and we argued for an entire double header.

When I play softball, and I think the other team is doing something wrong, or is arguing a call, I let them do that on their own. I think they get more riled up and play worse. If I argue a call, I do it to the umpire. Well, I slid into second base last year, clearly safe, and was called out. I started arguing the call and Frank, coming in from third base, started telling me to be more sportsman-like and go back to the bench. I told Frank to shut the fuck up, and Frank thought that was rude. Then Frank found out what rude truly is as I continue to play little mind games the rest of the evening (it was a night doubleheader), and the feud started.

So yesterday, I spent most of the game trying to bean Frank in the head with a line-drive down the first base side (I didn't come close, sadly - kept getting pitched inside, and I can't seem to ever drive a ball to the right side when they are in on me), and Frank hit a ball over my head for a homerun. We split the doubleheader in a come-from-behind first game, but I am still stinging from the embarrassment of letting a shim drive a ball over my head. I consider it a loss.

I finished reading Dan Brown’s “Angels & Demons” last week, and it was good, I guess. Not so sure about the whole leaping from a helicopter with a handkerchief and not only surviving but being able to rush back to the Vatican and save the day from an egomaniacal ruler who somehow survived the leap from the same helicopter and then was unseen as he lands 20 feet above everyone else after some super explosion of a new weapon, but hey, who am I to argue with a best selling writer? I have now progressed to his next novel, the soon to be released movie, “The Da Vinci Code.” It’s ok so far, about 100 pages into it.

Hmmm…after work and more work and then softball and dishes and laundry, it doesn’t seem like I have as much energy today. I wanted to run tonight, but I am really sore from softball, and I need to do some chores after work, so I might not run tonight. I will restart it all up tomorrow. I hope.

Spare me the drone of your advice

I could only run for about 20 minutes last night. It was really weird not being able to run for longer, but that is OK. It was 2 miles, but my stomach was in knots by the end of the run. So I slowed it down, walked a little and finished.

I don’t know why, but even this morning, there is a strange little tickle in my stomach. Not like the vomiting tickle, but after I eat, in the upper abdomen, there is a slight rumbling. I won’t worry, as it seems my stomach went through something really bad 2 days ago, so I will take it easy and try not to get worked up over it. If it lasts into the weekend, though, I will have to look into calling my physician. I’ve heard of people having gall bladder problems and such when they lose large amounts of weight. I don’t want to have worked hard to lose weight just to get sick. Although…if I got sick, I’d probably eat less, and then lose more weight. Hmmm…not a good way to think, eh?

2 more softball games this weekend, and I can’t wait. I enjoy playing softball, and wish I had more time to join another team, but I don’t think I could play for a straight team, and we only have one gay league in Pittsburgh.

Carl is coming up to get his BMW, which is now fixed (he hopes) so another fun weekend ahead. I guess I forgot to mention that is BMW had some rear differential problem and it seized up on his Sunday drive home, so he had to have it towed off the PA Turnpike and into a BMW dealer to fix it, so he didn’t’ get back to Maryland until Monday. But the dealer has fixed it all up and he is driving his rent-a-PT Cruiser up tonight and picking up his Ultimate Driving Machine. At least that is what he calls it.

Working at the movie theater Friday & Saturday night, then softball Sunday afternoon. I am so living la vita loco, eh? Woo-hoo! Then softball Sunday, and back to work on Monday. Good thing I only work 4 days a week at my regular job or I’d miss out on life.

When offered the opportunity to work 4 days a week, it was until 8 pm, and it was nice to sleep in morning, get to work at 9:30 am, leave at 8 pm, and have Fridays-Sundays off. After a year of doing that, they decided not to stay open until 8 pm anymore, so if I wanted to do the 4 days/week I had to work 6:45 am – 5:15 pm. I chose to stay with the whole 3 day weekends, but it was because there were so many things I wanted to do for my 3 day weekends. And now, I don’t do anything much for my 3 day weekends. So what am I working for?

Get your kicks on Route 66

Warning – this entry might not be for those with weak stomachs, the elderly or young children.

I didn’t count my calories yesterday…because I seemed to have lost some of them.

I had a frozen lunch yesterday, some lasagna thing. It tasted good at 11:30 am, but tasted less good at 8:00 pm while I was hurling it all over the South Side.

I left work at 5 pm, about 15 minutes earlier than usual. I then could only make it to Kyle’s place, about 2 ½ miles from work, instead of getting all the way to my place. I crashed on his couch for a few hours, and then decided I had to get home. So I walked to my car, sat in it for a few moments, and opened the door and hurled. And it felt good.

So I didn’t count calories when I went home, and I ate an orange and some rice cakes. And I didn’t run yesterday, obviously. I don’t think that would have been a good idea. I was achy and then had the explosions out the other side. Overall, it wasn’t a pretty day for me at all.

So I have started all over today, with basic Yogurt & mixed berries with a whole wheat English muffin and some low fat cheese for breakfast. And it feels good so far, no problem after 3 hours in my tummy. I will take that as a good sign.

I am even wondering if I can do the exercise when I get home today. Even though I feel so much better today than I did yesterday, I don’t want to do anything to make myself sick again…or push myself too far and get sicker.

We shall see.

all your friends, well they just patronize you. Don't God look forgot? He's just sittin' here.

I was down 3 more pounds on Saturday morning weigh-in. So my total weight loss after 6 weeks of doing this specific 1600 calorie/day diet is 20 pounds. Total weight loss after doing Atkins for the first 3 months of the year? 12 pounds. And I do think, overall, I am being healthier on this new diet.

So how did I celebrate my 6 weeks of eating healthy? I pigged out on all types of food. I can’t even tell you how much food I’ve had since Saturday evening at the Pirates game. Hot wings, nachos with cheese, hot dogs (both regular AND foot long variety), pierogies, potato chips, big greasy hamburgers, French fries, Vincent’s Pizza (you have to see this one to believe how big each slice is) and beer. I was gluttoness from Saturday evening until last night. And it was wonderful. And then it was kind of uncomfortable sitting at the ball game with a distended belly. And then it was really uncomfortable Sunday morning, as my softball team was playing at 11 am, and I was, um, running to the restroom all morning long at home.

But as of today, I am going to be back on track. Eating right and keeping count of the calories & fat. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, and I’m too lazy to look at my back entries, but I have written everything down I’ve eaten in the last 6 weeks. Even last Saturday when I binged, I wrote it down. And except for that one day and this past weekend, I’ve weighed everything that I’ve eaten and written it all down. I don’t think I want to keep that up for the rest of my life, but I want to get down to a better weight and then learn to eat healthy without weighing everything.

I am not going to weigh myself again for 2 weeks. No need to be annoyed this week after the good things I’ve accomplished.

I ran yesterday, but only for 10 minutes as a warm up for softball. I did only run 4 days last week, as I didn’t make time on Saturday to run. I had to work at the movie theater in the afternoon and then get to the Pirates game. I will start again today with my running regime. I think I will hit 3 miles/day this week. I am looking forward to hitting that mark.

Speaking of softball, I did half decent. I had one good hit, one shitty hit and one time I actually, for the first time in 11 years of softball (and many years of baseball through little league and high school) that I stepped on the plate when I hit the ball. There were two huge holes right by home plate, and just before the ball came in, I stepped a bit closer to the plate and stepped on it. Umpire called me out immediately, and I said not a word as I knew he was right. I did feel stupid.

I play left center, and I made one very good catch in the outfield, ball was tailing away from me, but I ran faster, and with the loss of 32 pounds I had the energy and the ability to push it a bit faster and made up the ground to catch it. However, that being said, I will say that I misplayed one ground ball to the outfield into a double. The ball was coming right at me on the ground, and looked up to see who I was going to throw it to, and the ball went under my glove. So the next ball came up and I slid when I got to the ball to make sure it didn’t get away.

But my really stupid play came in the opposing teams last at bat. With one runner at first base, a big hitter came up. I told the other outfielders that if he got a hit, keep it to a single and throw to second base no matter what the other runner did. The ball came out to me, and I decided at the last second that I could throw out the runner at third, which I didn’t and the hitter got to second base.

But I made up for that by scoring a run in the bottom of that inning with some good base running. I am usually a very conservative base runner. I don’t try to lure the other team to throw it my way. I get to the base and stand there. Some people get to the base and then start dancing around trying to get whoever has the ball to throw it to their area, and they immediately break for the next base. Yesterday, I rounded third with no intention of going any further, and the infielder got the throw from the outfield and blindly threw it home, but threw it way over the catchers head, and I broke for home, almost taking out the pitcher who was not paying attention and standing on the baseline. I slid, and tough I tore up my pants and my right knee, I scored.

So now my team, Pittsburgh Crush, is 1-0. And I do think that the months of running and eating better and taking off the weight has helped me be a better softball player. And really, that was one of the major reasons I started this whole exercise thing.